Confused soul

It hurts... to love someone so much and yet know they can't love you back as they love someone else. What's confusing is, maybe they love you too but there is someone else that they love more. It's a losing battle but you still want to keep fighting. You know how the end is going to be. You know you'll be forgotten at the end. The other person will win. I know all this.. I knew all this.. and yet, I am in love. I am in love with a person I can't be with. I can't let go. I can't turn back and forget all about it. I just can't. Every time I try to let go, my heart doesn't let me. It's like I am addicted to this forbidden love. Is it worth it? I do not know. I know he loves another so deeply. I know he is hurt. He appears to be so strong and yet I know he is hurt. He is confused. Is he in love with just one other or are there two? He is supposed to know girls more than anything else, and yet I feel he is more lost than I am. I have more experience than people can imagine I would. I understand feelings more than others would think I do. I can feel pain and I know what it is like to be hurt and rejected. It's nothing new to me. This is not the first time I am in this type of situation. I know what I am doing. I know what I should do to avoid more pain, and yet, I want to go on.. It's like I am becoming immune to pain. What is this? I do not know.