Confused soul

It hurts... to love someone so much and yet know they can't love you back as they love someone else. What's confusing is, maybe they love you too but there is someone else that they love more. It's a losing battle but you still want to keep fighting. You know how the end is going to be. You know you'll be forgotten at the end. The other person will win. I know all this.. I knew all this.. and yet, I am in love. I am in love with a person I can't be with. I can't let go. I can't turn back and forget all about it. I just can't. Every time I try to let go, my heart doesn't let me. It's like I am addicted to this forbidden love. Is it worth it? I do not know. I know he loves another so deeply. I know he is hurt. He appears to be so strong and yet I know he is hurt. He is confused. Is he in love with just one other or are there two? He is supposed to know girls more than anything else, and yet I feel he is more lost than I am. I have more experience than people can imagine I would. I understand feelings more than others would think I do. I can feel pain and I know what it is like to be hurt and rejected. It's nothing new to me. This is not the first time I am in this type of situation. I know what I am doing. I know what I should do to avoid more pain, and yet, I want to go on.. It's like I am becoming immune to pain. What is this? I do not know.

Misunderstood

I'm misunderstood
You don't hear a word I say
I just wish i could explain
I've never felt this way

We talk and we talk
But you walk away
I try calling you back
You still push me away

I'm misunderstood
I know what I've done
I thought it was good
now I've got no place to run

I can see the disappointment
in your eyes
I know I've got to
Pay this price

You're misunderstood
I know i don't understand
I know you're hurt
Give me another chance

I'll start from the beginning
This is not how it should end
I will correct my mistakes
I swear I'll bend

Give me another chance
To prove myself
I need your patience
I just need your help

To get out of this mess
To change who I am
To be stubborn less
I know I can

Regret

This is going to be one sleepless night I'm remembering the things you said I'm guilty, for not treating you right I'm tossing and turning in my bed I've given away the warmth of your love The only warmth left for me are these tears Falling from my eyes with regret You are the jewel I had, but i failed to keep It's true you never know what you've lost till you let go But when you know it's for their own good, You have to lay low I just wish i could be nice I must pay, I must, this price I am one that everyone would despise I am surely the witch in disguise This sleepless night.... the moon is gone, the stars are gone.. And I deserve to be alone...

What's life?

One day a funeral, another day a wedding, one day a party and a free day in between. So many events in life, nothing stops us from going on. There are certain things we have to do from the day we are born. This involves sleepless nights, this involves endless tears, this involves hours of laughter and some days are spent in fear. Some people you like to be with, some people you are dying to meet, some people you try hard to avoid and some people you only greet. Some days you study endlessly, some nights you chat with friends, some days are dedicated for movies, and you stay awake effortlessly. Imagine if life was just one of these? imagine how boring it would be? The mixed bag of events makes life worth living and that, yourself you have to see.

Someone stepped on your foot? Soo...???

I will never understand why people make "tsk" or "ssss" sounds when someone steps on their foot or knocks on them by accident. They even give "annoyed" looks when it is obvious that the other did not mean any harm. It was just an accident... I mean COME ON! People don't go on the road with the intention of accidentally knocking on someone or stepping on another's foot. (Please note, I am not talking about the jobless, IRC people who do it to annoy girls. I am talking about just normal people we meet on the road).

What's even worse is how they quickly smile if it is a friend and keep the annoyed look if it is someone they don't know or don't like.

The other day I was waiting for the elevator at work. There was a man of about 50 waiting for it and while we were there a lady of about 35 came. When the elevator came, the man let us get in first before he got in. (Very gentleman like I thought). Then once he got on, he pressed the button of the floor he needed to go to and took a step back. In doing so, he accidentally stepped on the other woman's foot. The woman made a loud "sssssss" sound and looked away. The man quickly said "sorry" and the woman quietly mumbled a "it's ok" still keeping her annoyed look. The man was upset and said "sorry" again to which the woman said "it's ok", a little louder than the last time. Me being the 3rd party could feel the tension rising. The man got down from the elevator. The moment he got down, the lady looked at her feet and gave me a "oh how careless that man was" look. I just smiled.

Even after I got down from the elevator I couldn't stop thinking that the woman should've reacted in a different way. I am sure it hurt but the poor man didn't mean to hurt her. What if it was her son? What if it was her old father? So many questions ran through my mind.

I just wish people would learn to forgive others even in small things like these. Because if not, how can we learn to forgive bigger things? How can we ever find solutions to bigger problems in the world? A smile can make people happy. We all know how to smile when there is pain. Why not change the way we react even when someone steps on our foot by accident? What's the use of making that person feel bad than they already do?

Just think about this...

What is love?

I've never really been in a relationship. I've had a few crushes and a fling. That's it. :P However, I know a lot about love. People wonder how someone who has never been in a relationship know anything about love. I guess I know about it through the experience of my friends than my personal experience.

I consider myself to be lucky to be the person many people turn to when they have a problem. With listening to their stories and giving advice, I have learnt about love. One thing I know for sure is that we all are going to live a happy life in the end. I've seen many friends settling down with better people with time. None of us are ready to believe just after a breakup that we can move on, but trust me... YOU CAN!

People really find it hard to handle breakups. I know it is truly hard to get over something like that. But what we need to understand is that it is our mind that can make us happy or sad. If we try be optimistic, we can enjoy life to the fullest.

Nothing is the end of the world. Whatever it is, we all need to move on. We need to live life. Coz life just goes on.

If you are heartbroken, I suggest you listen to songs that light you up. The best song I think is "God bless the broken road". It kind of goes with what I believe. Destiny has a plan for all of us. Everything that happens today leads to something great. So, keep believing.

My conclusion about love is that love is a beautiful thing. It is all about feeling that someone else in the world is ready to give you all the attention you need. When people are in love, they think it's the best thing in the world. But when they breakup, they hate it. But what most of us don't realize is, the real meaning of love comes out when you meet the right person. When you find someone who can share love with you and show you what the meaning of it.....that's when you've found love. If you break up with someone, what you had wasn't real love. ;-)

Good luck everyone! :D

Don't speak unless you know about it well.....

Today just as my father came home after work, I happily told him- "We have Marxism in our syllabus". (I am not that into politics and thought this was a good way to make my father happy to know I have learned something he knows well about).

His response surprised me. He said "Ah, Marx...that's nice. So..tell me, what's the name of his book?" (Now I knew we were taught this but I really couldn't remember). Though I told him we were taught about Marx, I never said I studied or read more about him. (I of course couldn't tell him this). So, I softly said "I remember I wrote down the name........"

My father then disapprovingly looked at me. "If you don't know his book, I don't think you know about him at all. (I of course felt so bad. I shouldn't have started this conversation. Now I am in trouble).

I was hoping my father would go to take a wash now. But NO, he asked, "which country is Marx from?" This, was such a simple question and we were taught that too. BUT there was a small problem..... I COULDN'T REMEMBER!!! I know..I know.. Now I do sound really dumb right? I don't know where Marx was from. I gave the most obvious answer... "Russia". My father smiled and said "That's what a lot of people think. But he was a German. And I said "Ahhhhhh...". Actually I knew that...I think! :P

My father went in to the bathroom while still telling me things about Marx. After he went in I was so relieved. I also was blaming myself for starting a conversation without really knowing my facts. I just turned to my mother to tell her this when I heard my father ask from the bathroom "What was Lenin's political party?" I felt like banging my head on the wall. I just jokingly answered, "Sama samaja pakshaya". My father said "Ya.Right!"

I knew it was time for me to quickly escape. So, I went far away so that I couldn't hear even if my father asked another question. However, I learned a good lesson. "Don't speak unless you know, or else you'll get stuck in the middle".

However, my father said he will teach me about Marx when he has time. I am going to read about Marx and be prepared for that. I am not going to teach my dad about Marx... :-D (Or maybe at least try to answer the simple questions he asks... "